In the age of social media and constant connectivity, the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) has become a prevalent psychological phenomenon. We all experience it to some extent—seeing friends’ vacation photos, reading about a new restaurant everyone’s raving about, or hearing about an event you weren’t invited to. As someone who comes from a conservative culture, I have never been to a sleepover or homecoming dance ever! FOMO can lead to anxiety, dissatisfaction, and a constant need to stay connected. But what exactly is FOMO, why do we experience it, and how can we overcome it?

Understanding FOMO: What Is It?

FOMO is a feeling of anxiety or apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent. This sensation is not new, but the emergence of social media has significantly amplified it. Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter always provide continuous updates about what others are doing, often portraying an idealized version of their lives. This constant exposure can make us feel like we’re always on the outside looking in, missing out on the fun and the connection

The Psychology Behind FOMO

1. Fulfillment adjustment: This is the tendency to quickly return to a baseline level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes. When we see others constantly engaging in new, exciting activities, we may fear that our own experiences could be more rewarding, and thus try to participate in them, so in the end, it doesn’t matter if it made you happier or not, but as long as others were happy doing it, so should you.

2. Others’ Evaluation: Humans have a natural tendency to compare themselves to others. Psychologist Leon Festinger’s social comparison theory suggests that we determine our own social and personal worth based on how we stack up against others. Social media makes these comparisons immediate and ubiquitous. It is very prominent, especially among young adults. Someone 5 years younger than you is already a millionaire, yet what are you doing with your life?

3. Motivations for Community: According to Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the need for belonging is a fundamental human motivation. We all want to feel connected and valued by our social circles. When we see others engaging in activities without us, it can trigger feelings of exclusion and inadequacy.

4. Overload of Information: The constant barrage of information can overwhelm us, leading to a fear that we’re not consuming the right content or missing out on something crucial. This fear is exacerbated by the curated nature of social media, where people tend to share only the highlights of their lives. There is always something you are gonna miss, a scholarship deadline that was just yesterday, or a job opportunity that disappeared in the blink of an eye. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem, as people feel like they are falling behind in life.

The Negative Effects of FOMO

1. Fading pleasure: Regular exposure to idealized images of others’ lives can lead to dissatisfaction with your own. This can result in a persistent feeling of inadequacy and unhappiness.

2. Overwhelmed: Constantly feeling like you’re missing out can lead to heightened anxiety and stress levels. You may find yourself constantly checking your phone for updates, leading to a lack of focus and increased tension.

3. Mood-driven actions: FOMO can lead to impulsive behaviors, such as making hasty decisions to join events or spend money on experiences you may not truly enjoy, just to feel included.

4. Outlier experience: Ironically, the fear of missing out can lead to increased social isolation. The more time you spend online, the less time you might spend engaging in meaningful real-world interactions.

4 Strategies to Overcome FOMO

Mindful Social Media Use: Be conscious of how much time you spend on social media and its impact on your well-being. Consider setting specific times for checking social media and avoiding endless scrolling. Use tools like app timers to limit your usage.

I have a 1-hour time limit on TikTok specifically, simply because it takes up a lot of my time. Whenever the times kicked me out of the app, I would experience FOMO, like “What if there was a funny video out there that everyone knows about but me,” or something viral came out, and all of my friends understood the context but me??

Well, it is the internet; unless you are a supercomputer virus sent out to collect every single piece of information on the internet, there will always be something that you missed, and that is alright.

Shift Your Focus: Instead of focusing on what others are doing, shift your attention to your own experiences. Practice gratitude by regularly noting things you appreciate in your own life. Keeping a gratitude journal can help you stay grounded and appreciate what you have.

I have a lot of activities that keep me busy, and that I am passionate about. I run track, run my blog too, and play games. I love baking when I have the ingredients and trying and dumping a bunch of other activities. Along with making your own experiences, joining groups that also share your interests can fill in that need for companionship.

Engage in Real-Life Activities: Prioritize real-world interactions and activities that bring you joy. Spend time with friends and family, pursue hobbies, and engage in physical activities. Real connections and experiences are more fulfilling than virtual ones sometimes.

Challenge Your Thoughts: When you feel FOMO creeping in, challenge the thoughts that come with it. Remind yourself that social media only shows a highlight reel of others’ lives and not the full picture. Everyone has their ups and downs, even if they don’t share them online.

New word: JOMO: The Joy of Missing Out

One powerful way to combat FOMO is by embracing JOMO—the Joy of Missing Out. JOMO is about finding pleasure in doing what you truly want to do, without worrying about what others are doing. It’s about being content with your own life and choices and finding joy in the present moment. Here’s how to cultivate JOMO:

1. Juggle your priorities: Focus on what truly matters to you and align your activities with your values. When you engage in activities that resonate with your core values, you’ll find more satisfaction and joy.

2. Opt for Solitude: Learn to enjoy your own company. Solitude can be a time for self-reflection, creativity, and personal growth. Embrace the peace that comes with being alone.

3. Mindful awareness: Focus on the here and now. When you’re fully present, you’re less likely to worry about what others are doing. Engage deeply with whatever you’re doing, whether it’s a conversation, a hobby, or a walk in nature.

4. Gratitude Practice: Regularly practice gratitude to appreciate the positive aspects of your life. Gratitude shifts your focus from what you lack to what you have, fostering contentment and joy.

Conclusion: Living Beyond FOMO

FOMO is a common but manageable part of modern life. By understanding the psychological roots of FOMO and employing strategies to counteract it, you can reduce its impact on your mental well-being. Embracing mindfulness, gratitude, and real-world connections can help you find fulfillment and joy in your own life, without the constant comparison to others.

Remember, it’s okay to miss out sometimes; in fact, it can be a source of joy and contentment. You are just chilling on your own. So next time you feel FOMO creeping in, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that your journey is unique and valuable, just as it is.

Your Turn:
Have you ever felt the fear of missing out—maybe from social media, a group chat, or something your friends were doing? What helped you cope with that feeling? Share a time when you embraced JOMO instead, and how it made you feel. I’d love to hear how you’re choosing your version of joy.

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